Poor Siblings Rebel Against Worthless Christmas Donations

By Pug Ransom

Published December 22nd, 2014

DELMAR — Thanks but no thanks.

That’s the holiday message from two Albany brothers who traveled by bus to Delmar Sunday to give back the “box of crap” donated to the poor for Christmas by an upper middle-class family here.

“Just because we’re disadvantaged doesn’t mean we’re willing to take a bunch of outdated shit you wanna get rid of so that you can de-clutter your garage to make way for your Land Rover,” said Richard Nelson, 16, standing outside the Delmar home of Mr. and Mrs. Earl Shankley. “What the hell am I gonna do with a VCR and 8-track player, anyway?”

Grabbing a tattered copy of LaToya Jackson’s 1991 autobiography, Nelson’s 15-year-old brother, Wayne, set aflame the book’s cover and then hurled it at the  Shankley’s Bay window.

“Clown-ass punks,” Wayne screamed. “If you’re gonna donate a book by a Jackson girl, at least make it Janet!”

Blossom Shankley, who stood hiding behind the curtain in the living room of her family’s spacious Colonial, said she was “shocked” by the brothers’ ungratefulness.

“My husband and I cleaned out our home out of the goodness of our heart,” said Blossom. “This is the thanks we get? They’re underprivileged. They should be happy to receive anything.”

“What the hell am I gonna do with a pair of acid-washed jeans and a Members Only jacket?” asked a visibly irate Richard as he threw a Ninja Turtles fanny pack onto the Shankley’s front lawn.

Dorey Makepeace of Albany’s Salvation Army said while many affluent people mean well at the holidays, they often look at donations as an opportunity to rid themselves of items they no longer want rather than donating what the poor may actually need.

“Let’s call it well-meaning ignorance,” Makepeace said.

Wayne Nelson, however, calls it something else.

“It’s a huge pain in the ass,” he said. “We ain’t their landfill. They can keep their Spice Girls CDs and their Houston Oiler jackets and they can shove them straight up their yuppie asses.”