Green Island to Remove Yellow Lights

By Fred Furnace

Published December 29th, 2014

GREEN ISLAND – The Green Island Department of Public Works has received the green light to remove all yellow lights from the city's traffic signals.

The town council voted 6-to-3 to adopt the plan, proposed by Councilman Mark Solomon as a cost-cutting measure.

"We have 17 traffic lights in this town," explained the triumphant Solomon. "That's 17 yellow-colored light bulbs that will no longer need to be purchased.”

Not everyone was pleased. Councilwoman Maureen Sanders, who voted against the measure, warned the removal of yellow lights could pose a public danger.

"The yellow lights serve as a caution," she said. "Without the yellow light, it's just not safe."

But Solomon and his supporters were not convinced. "Our studies show that no one stops at yellow lights. They serve no purpose at all."

Councilman Greg Tanner agrees: "We all know the action is with red and green. Red is stop, green is go. Yellow lights, in contrast, are like kissing your cousin. No action at all."

"It's five seconds of, 'mehhh'," added Solomon. "We will henceforth eliminate the yellow light and just get on with our lives."

It is expected to take approximately six months before the yellow lights are actually removed. Once completed, Green Island will be the first city in the world to eliminate yellow lights.

Council estimates show savings from the yellow-light elimination plan could eclipse $47 in the first year.

"And those savings are annual," trumpeted Solomon, "so those savings will happen not only in year one, but also year two, year three, year four, year five, year six, and so on."

"This is a big deal," he added, “We don’t have that kind of money in this town.”