Aide Fired After 'Hasselhoffing' Cuomo
Published January 12th, 2015
Photo Courtesy of Rex Gutierrez
ALBANY— Gov. Andrew Cuomo has fired one of his top aides after she allegedly 'Hasselhoffed' his personal computer.
Mary Connorovitz was dismissed Friday after the ‘Dark Lord’ — as state Capitol insiders refer to the governor — discovered she made several unsolicited modifications to his Macbook Pro.
The former communications director reportedly changed Cuomo's screensaver to a random slideshow of mildly erotic photos of 80's heartthrob David Hasselhoff.
The act — which the Urban Dictionary defines as “Hasselhoffing” — is strictly prohibited by the governor's office.
Surveillance footage showed Connorovitz in the laptop’s vicinity at the same time that the Capitol's IT Department noticed suspicious Hasselhoffian-type data moving across the network, consuming exceptionally large chunks of bandwidth.
Later, Cuomo— who sources say was awaiting an important email from lawmakers concerning a bill that would ban smiling among state employees — became irate when his Retina Display began to cycle through images of the Knight Rider star in various states of undress. Connorovitz admitted to the violation and was let go soon afterward.
Although the 28-year-old RPI graduate apologized to her former boss on Facebook, the tone of her post led many political insiders to speculate on whether she believed the offense was serious enough to justify her termination:
“I thought the guy was starting to lighten up a little. Sure, he was considering a ban on smiling, but he recently adopted a Himalayan Bunny that he named Hillary... and we all know about his Department of Love. I honestly thought he'd get a kick out of it. I never thought in a million years he'd fire me over it. Something's really wrong with that guy. I see it now.”
The governor's original screensaver — the Hellscape panel on the Hieronymus Bosch painting, The Garden of Earthly Delights — has since been restored without incident.