Colonie Teen Puts Spoiler on Dodge Neon, People Wonder Why

By Fenwick Jolsen

Published January 19th, 2015

COLONIE — Kyle Parker is all about his car.

“Dodge Neon. Black. Vinyl interior. Automatic with a sun roof,” said the 17-year-old Colonie High School senior, who paid for his set of wheels himself with the money he earned working at Moe’s.

“It’s a 1994,” he said. “So we’re talking vintage.”

Thanks to the extra shifts he picked up these past few months making Homewreckers and Art Vandelays, Kyle was able to make his ride even sweeter with the addition a rear spoiler.

“I went top of the line, bro,” he said, rubbing a smudge off his fender with the bottom of his Hurley T-shirt. “It’s a 57-inch JDM Real Carbon Fiber designed actually for a Nissan. But, I learned in my auto-tech class how to configure it to my car. I think it looks rad, yo. Bro, check it out.”

Kyle, part of Colonie’s thriving young motor head community, can usually be found with his buddies in the parking lot of Hoffman’s Car Wash on Central Avenue, where they gather en masse to wash, vacuum and buff their Honda Civics, Toyota Corollas, Neons and Kia Forenzas – each adorned with spoilers, spoke rims, racing stripes and stickers of cartoon Bad Boys pissing on things.

“It’s kinda like a brotherhood or something,” Kyle said. “We understand each other in ways other people don’t, ya know what I’m saying?”

Paul Reynolds lives across the street from Hoffman’s and regularly sees Kyle and his friends work on their vehicles.

“Those kids are dipshits,” Reynolds said with a laugh. “Most of their cars are four cylinder. What the hell is a spoiler going to do on a Neon? And racing stripes on a Carolla? Really? What a bunch of dumbasses.”

Kyle said he’s now saving money to add Hooker Headers.

“I’m not exactly sure what they are, but I’m definitely buying them,” he said. “Can’t wait. It’s gonna be swag.”


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