Fake Tiger Uproar Has Lawyer and the 'Tuna' in a Fishy Probe

By Quack Davis

Published January 26th, 2015

SARATOGA SPRINGS – A name-dropping Spa City lawyer is under investigation for possible fraud in connection with a taxidermy business he operates on the side with legendary NFL coach and part-time Saratoga resident Bill Parcells.

The state Department of Environment Conservation launched the probe of attorney Marvin “Bucky” Dorpnorker’s shop in October after a tipster phoned the agency, saying he did not believe the stuffed lions and tigers in the store had ever been alive.

When investigators went to the store, four of the big cats on display were replicas of “Tony the Tiger,” the fictional face of Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes cereal.

Another tiger, officials said, resembled “Tigger” from Winnie the Pooh.

“There is no way these cats are real,” one investigator told The Albany Smudge.  “I’ve seen more realistic tiger stripes on spandex.”

The investigator said despite early success with the business, Parcells was already thinking

Dorpnorker opened his popular store — You Are What Your Leopard Says You Are! — last year on Broadway. The name is a takeoff on a famous quote by Parcells, who said that in pro football: “you are what your record says you are.”

Parcells,  a horseracing enthusiast and frequent visitor to Saratoga Race Course, was supposed to be a silent partner in the business. However, just hours before the grand opening, Dorpnorker posted on Facebook: “I AM OPENING A TAXIDERMY BUSINESS WITH BILL PARCELLS!”

 

He later Tweeted: “ME AND MY GOOD BUDDY BILL PARCELLS HAVE A TAXIDERMY BIZ WITH LIONS. WE’RE GONNA ROAR! LOL!”

Dorpnorker was once sanctioned by a judge for boasting in court of his close friendships with actors “Bobby” DeNiro, Emilio Estevez and Jimmy Fallon.

Though he would not comment on this latest probe — the 54-year-old Dorpknorker, who does not wear ties — did note that he’s friends with attorneys for actors James Van der Beek and Hal Linden and Vin Diesel.