Snowman Menaces Glenville

By Fred Furnace

Published January 26th, 2015

GLENVILLE – When 8-year-old Billy Jergensen of Glenville spent Saturday morning building a snowman in the front yard of his Milton Avenue home, he never imagined his creation would come to life and spend the rest of the weekend wreaking havoc on this town.

But that’s exactly what police say happened here.

"I had just finished putting on buttons made out of Junior Mints when my snowman started to move," recalls Billy. "Then, he said, 'Thanks kid!' and started sliding down to the sidewalk. I couldn't believe my eyes. I tried to get him to stop and play with me, but he just yelled, 'Mind your own business, ya little brat!' and kept going on his way."

The snowman, which Billy has since named "Snowy McSnowman," was last seen sliding his way down Route 40.

"He came in and had a few beers," said Thomas McMullin, owner of McMullin's Irish Pub on Glenville Road. "He left without paying, didn't tip his server, left a big puddle on the floor, and harassed my customers. He was a real jerk.”

"That snowman is a menace," said McMullin’s patron Debra Manning. "He came up behind me, slapped my backside, and then asked: ‘You like the taste of snow baby?’ Can you believe that guy? What a creep.

"The weather should be turning warmer soon," Manning added. "I'll enjoy watching that bastard melt!"

Glenville Police Capt. Mike Winters said there is not much his department can do other than wait for the snowman to melt or slide its way out of town.

"In the meantime, Glenville restaurant owners are being advised to secure payment upfront from any snowman or snowwoman patronizing their establishment," he said. "And they probably want to have a mop and bucket handy as well."