Mob threatens to leave New York

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published February 9th, 2015

ALBANY  -- Fed up with up rampant corruption in state government, members of New York City’s five Mafia families protested outside the Capitol last week, threatening to leave the state unless they receive tax incentives to stay.

“This is no frickin’ climate for us,” said one reputed mobster who identified himself only as ‘Nicky the Egg.’ “Why should we stay? We’re supposed to be the crooks and 'dese frickin’ politicians are committing all the best crimes. They’re all already bribed before we gets a chance. It’s no fairs. ”

Nicky was among 200 leg breakers, loan sharks and hit men demonstrating. One mobster held a sign that read “Goons for Change!” Another wore a shirt with the message:  “Make Us An Offer We Can’t Refuse – or we’ll move to Florida!”

David McGubbern, a spokesman for Five Families Across New York, a non-profit organization devoted to educating the public about the benefits of organized crime, told The Albany Smudge the cost of private social clubs is “staggering” compared to what it used to be in the 1970s. He said that without the state passing a law to grant the mob property tax abatement, the FBI, State Police and other agencies who investigate thugs won’t be able to arrest the type of interesting criminals here who inspire Martin Scorsese movies.

“I know what you’re thinking -- the Russians can inspire good scripts, too, right? Well, what show was more successful: ‘The Sopranos’ or ‘What A Country?’” McGubbern asked, referring to the long-ago sitcom starring famed Russian comic Yakov Smirnoff.  "The mob is as New York as the Yankees and stickball. Come on Albany. Do the right thing!"

Boston Ratweiller, a former federal prosecutor, doubted the bill would pass. He said the number of criminals in the state Legislature dwarfs the mob.

“There’s really no comparison,” he said.  “If I was a mobster, I wouldn’t be protesting state government; I’d pull up a chair and start taking notes. Some of these lawmakers make Don Corleone seem like Don Knotts.”


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