Lumbersexuals Flock To Lake George Winter Carnival
Published February 23rd, 2015
Lumbersexuals c. 1910
LAKE GEORGE — If you're a stylish Capital Region male who over-compensates for his lost masculinity by clinging to at least one form of outdoor-based ruggedness, chances are you'll be attending this year's Lake George Winter Carnival.
That's what organizers are betting on and so far, they're cashing in. Attendance for the “Celebration of all the Great Adirondack Wintertime Activities” has quadrupled and organizers attribute that to the throngs of neatly bearded, denim and plaid-clad gentlemen whom they've gone out of their way to attract this year.
“The lumbersexuals are coming out in droves,” beamed head organizer, Brian Chapperman. “And we couldn't be happier. ”
According to Chapperman, this key demographic typically consists of young, well-groomed urbanites with desk jobs, who, despite their soft, scarless hands and weak-kneed temperaments, work hard to maintain a faux-air of outdoorsy-ness.
“Anyone physically brimming with artificial brawn — whose approach to fashion leans to the woodsy side — that's who we're catering to this year.”
Chapperman went on to say that traditional winter carnival activities — such as glacier golf, snowmobile racing and ice diving — have been scaled back to make room for more benign events which promise to tickle the fancy of upscale, low-to-moderately adventurous men who usually drive Subaru Outbacks.
“We have weekly beard and neckline trimming competitions, an all-male rustic fare cook-off and, of course, plenty of ice skating.”
Peter Hodges, a sprucely stubbled, mannish-looking 35-year old from Albany said he's “simply thrilled” with this year's carnival.
“I'm a man. I like manly things. That's why I'm here braving the elements in my Jasper Shearling sheepskin coat with beaver fur collar.”
The carnival — which kicked off February 7 — wraps up March 1 with an Adam Levine look-alike contest sponsored by The Men's Journal. The grand prize is an all-expense-paid brow-enhancing Botox surgery, courtesy of Warrensburg Plastic Incision.