City Man Concedes Big Truck Makes Up for Small Package

By Pug Ransom

Published March 9th, 2015

Blaise Broderick's F-250

ALBANY — An Albany man admitted Wednesday that he is “compensating” by driving a heavy-duty pickup.

“OK, OK, I admit: there is no good reason that I should own such a large truck living in Center Square,” said Blaise Broderick. “I mean, yeah, it’s not like I live on a farm in Stephentown or something.”

The 32-year-old programmer who works for the state Office of Technology said he leased his Ford F-250 about a year ago and has 30 months left on his contract.

“Wait… are you telling me he’s got another two-and-a-half years to go on his lease?” asked an exasperated Nipper Watson, who lives in the apartment below Broderick on Chestnut Street. “We don’t have any off-street parking here and that damn truck takes up the entire curb out front. My God, that guy’s a douche.”

Broderick said prior to leasing his truck he owned a Mazda 3 hatchback. But after breaking up with his longtime girlfriend, Amy, he decided to get rid of the Mazda for something a bit more “manly.”

“I don’t know what went wrong,” Broderick said of his relationship. “Things weren’t going well for a while and then one day, we just had it out. Things get said in anger. And things were said — things you can’t take back. She told me I was… small.”

When asked to elaborate, Broderick said nothing and instead, with a sheepish look on his face, held his thumb and index finger an inch apart.

“I dunno,” he said. “I mean, yeah, such a massive truck is completely obnoxious. But I guess it just makes me feel better about myself. I guess it just makes me feel like more of a man.”