Smudge to Discontinue Print Edition
By Fred Furnace
Published April 12th, 2015
Vladimir Lenin reading The Albany Smudge
ALBANY – In what is being called "a sign of the times," the Smudge is announcing it will halt its print edition later this year.
"Technology is moving forward, and we need to move forward with it," said Smudge spokesman Terry Stinson. "The Capital Region has become increasingly tech-savvy. It seems everyone in the area has smart phones and iPads these days; even people living in Watervliet and Cohoes. As such, we've concluded that a printed newspaper no longer makes economic sense in this day and age."
The announcement was met with frustration by several Smudge reporters.
"This is complete crap," said reporter Pug Ransom, described by his peers as being "old-school," "ornery," and "kind of a jerk."
"The Internet is destroying society,” Ransom said. “You can't be a legitimate newspaper if you don't put out an actual print edition. The geniuses running this paper apparently don’t understand that. This decision is complete bullshit if you ask me.”
But Smudge publisher Burt Wilkerson disagreed.
"We don't even have a print edition," Wilkerson explained. "We are, and have always been, an entirely online publication. This announcement won't change a goddamn thing. I’m not even really sure why we announced this in the first place."