Local Celebrity Faces Charges After Poultry Found ‘Stuffed’
By Pug Ransom
Published May 3rd, 2015
Raw chicken found at Corpuscle's House / Turkee Corpuscle in 1973.
MENANDS — Turkee Corpuscle — the beloved host of a popular long-running local children’s television show— was arrested Thursday on public lewdness charges stemming from an incident with supermarket poultry.
Police said Corpuscle, 79, was taken into custody while traipsing through a Broadway parking lot after authorities responded to a call regarding “moaning and grunting” sounds emanating from the restroom of a nearby grocery store. Upon further investigation, police found two thawing and somewhat mutilated Cornish game hens in the restroom — one wedged tightly, stuffing-side up, in the mouth a urinal and the other stuck on the handle of a sink faucet.
When police searched Corpuscle’s unassuming ranch home, they discovered numerous abused Butterballs, as well as several ravaged Tyson and Purdue chickens strewn throughout the house.
“It was one of the most vile scenes I’ve come across in 25 years on the force,” said Det. Frump Dumpling. “We even found a Smithfield ham with a 5-inch hole on in it out on the front lawn.”
Corpuscle hosted the popular Toons with Turkee show that aired on the Capital Region’s lone UHF channel from 1958 to 1979. The after-school program featured cartoons and puppets such as Socks Willingham and Stubbly Woodman.
Terry Tremble, a production assistant on Toons with Turkee, said she was not necessarily surprised to learn of Corpuscle’s arrest.
“Turkee was a nice man, but you could tell he had a dark side,” Tremble said. “He would get particularly manic around Thanksgiving. Now I know why.”
But Shepp Bundle of Niskayuna, who watched Corpuscle’s show throughout his childhood, said he was “floored” by the arrest.
“Man, I’d race home from school every day to watch Toons with Turkee. I even developed this weird attraction to Socks Willingham, for which my mother forced me to undergo therapy. I’m shocked. Kill your idols, ya know what I’m saying?”
Corpuscle’s attorney, Nipper Crowell, said “there’s nothing wrong with loving supermarket poultry.”
“Well, wait a second,” said Dumpling. “There’s loving poultry and then there’s loving poultry. And if you do the latter, you better not do it in public.”