Men’s group demands 'Tulip King'

By Quack Davis

Published May 3rd, 2015

Crappy public domain painting of Tulips
(In order to take an original photograph of actual Tulips in bloom,
our reporter would've had to walk two feet to get to Washington Park
from where he works. Sorry everyone.)


ALBANY – They want a Tulip King and they want him now.

That’s what the leader of a Selkirk-based men’s organization is demanding from the city of Albany. And if Radford Binny doesn’t get his way, he said the men of Selkirk will boycott this year’s Tulip Festival in Washington Park.

“How many more kings will be forgotten?” said Binny, president of Selkirkians for Man Justice, as he stood on the steps of City Hall. “How about a Tulip King? How about a Tulip King now? Let’s do it, Albany! Let's make history!”

The 67th Annual Tulip Festival is scheduled for May 9-10. More than 100,000 tulip bulbs will blossom to celebrate Mother's Day weekend. The historic event features the scrubbing of State Street, Tulip Queen coronation, a Tulip Queen and Court luncheon and the Royal Tulip Ball.

  Binny, 58, said it is silly to have a Tulip Queen now that Albany has its first female mayor, Kathy Sheehan.

“Men have a place in this world, too,” Binny hollered into a cardboard bullhorn. “We demand a Tulip King. We demand justice!”

Binny said he personally picked out three potential Tulip Kings he claims are "clamoring” to vie for the title.

One prospective candidate is Binny’s youthful ward, Stan Hole, 17.  

When asked by the Albany Smudge why he wants to be Tulip King, Hole, clad in a Boy Scout uniform, said: “It would be an honor, sir. It would fill a hole in my life and my life would be made truly whole.”

Miggy Frogger, 42, of Delmar, does not believe age should keep him from wearing the Tulip King crown. He has experience working as a supervisor at a Dairy Queen in New Jersey, which qualifies him as royalty, he said,

“I was known as the Dairy King,” Frogger said, adding that while he held his ice cream post in Sayreville, N.J., he was as widely respected as the town’s hunky native son, Jon Bon Jovi.

The third candidate, Bob Woogie, 29, of Corinth, said he thinks it would be “cool to be Tulip King and bang the Tulip Queen.”

Hundreds of college kids are expected to “get really wasted” at the festival, said Randy Cabbage, a spokesperson for Sheehan.

“There will be no Tulip King,” Cabbage said. “We will have enough freaks there as it is.”


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