Expert: Albany Not ‘Dope’ Enough for Parking Problems

By Quack Davis

Published May 10th, 2015

Cars parked near Madison Ave

ALBANY – A nationally acclaimed expert on municipal parking dilemmas said downtown Albany should not suffer from its notorious lack of available parking spots.

“I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble but this city is not so cool that drivers should be experiencing this much of a problem finding a parking space,” said Jack McKoy, who teaches the online ‘Parking Your Way to a Better Life’ course at Steenburgen University in Rotterdam.

McKoy addressed 700 students, teachers and two janitors at the intersection of Madison Avenue and Lark Street. He said it should take no longer than five seconds to find an available spot in Center Square, which encompasses the greater Lark Street area.

“What are you sayin, like, my town ain’t dope enough?” asked Corky Frisk, 17, of Loudonville.

“Sorry, Corky but that is an undeniable truth,” McKoy replied with a smile. “Albany is not dope enough to have this sort of trouble."

“That’s messed up,” the red haired, heavily freckled Frisk retorted.

McKoy, however, offered some hope.

“Just because Albany isn’t dope enough today doesn’t mean it can’t ever be,” he said while smiling at Frisk.

Fritz Smeagol, a construction worker and longtime downtown denizen, agreed.  The married father of three told The Albany Smudge it took him an hour and 45 minutes to locate a parking spot on Lark Street where he hoped to find a gay bar.


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