News Update: South Dakota Finally Reads the Smudge

Published May 10th, 2015

ALBANY — Twelve days after reporting South Dakota was one of two states that had not read The Albany Smudge, the Capital District’s leading source for make believe news received a hit April 24 from the city of Brookings in that state.

Good for you, Brookings! Bad for you Newish-Mexico.

Making good on our promise — Two States Still Refusing To Read The Smudge —The Smudge would now like to present a cultural tidbit related to the winner of our web-hit incentive program. Here it is:

Brookings is the dress sock-garter capital of eastern South Dakota, according to Wikipedia.

That’s not all. Consider this from the Dress Sock Wikipedia page: 

Dress socks come in a variety of heights. They come ankle high, mid calf high (the most common), and over the calf. Dress socks have also been known to slip down the leg, causing the wearer to have to constantly pull them up. In the past, men would buy garters or sock suspenders to help this, but with the introduction in the 1960s of better elastics such as spandex, it is mostly unnecessary now. However, some men with larger calves may still need the extra assistance of garters to keep socks from slipping.

With a firm understanding of supply and demand — coupled with humanitarian ideals regarding the wants and needs of poor, sad men with fat calves — the good people of Brookings have stepped up to the plate and made this world a better place. So congratulations South Dakota, you have earned your rightful place in our hearts.

There's just one more piece of business that must be taken care of: Does anybody know what that smell is?

Oh, it's New Mexico. Gross!


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