Megyn Kelly — A Bethlehem Girl Who Made Good

By Quack Davis

Published June 7th, 2015

BETHLEHEM – Slammy Woodcommon remembers the Megyn Kelly before the blond bombshell hotshot attorney left her hometown in the dust to reach the pinnacle of the news world at Fox.

“God, she was hot,” said the 73-year-old retired orthodontist from Delmar who collects pictures of dead presidents and hangs them in his living room.  “She was our girl.”

Woodcommon, who calls the beautiful and equally tough Fox News personality “the pride of Bethlehem Central High School,” recalls the first time he saw Kelly while peering through the telescope he keeps in his living room.

“She was carrying law books and walking near the school. I followed her to her car,” said Woodcommon. “I stared at her and said, ‘Hi Megyn. Hi beautiful blonde girl. I know I’ll be seeing you again.’ And I meant it!”

Kelly, who graduated from Albany Law School, drove away “sort of freaked out,” police said at the time.

Woodcommon, also known to locals as Slaybeard Fitzgerald, has followed Kelly’s career – and when possible, Kelly  herself – from Albany to Washington D.C. to the set of her show “The Kelly File” where the stunning Kelly opines on the Obama administration from the perspective of an extremely good-looking and very Republican-friendly female lawyer.

In fact, she is considered the most widely recognized Delmartian outside of ax murderer Christopher Porco and actor Sean Penn.

“She’s like Sean Hannity and Heather Locklear rolled into one," Woodcommon said.

A diehard Republican himself, Woodcommon stuck up for Kelly when the strongly opinionated mother of three ignited a firestorm of controversy for suggesting in 2013 that both Jesus and Santa Claus are white.

“Hey! Show some Goddamn respect. A girl has a right to her own opinion,” said Woodcommon, who often spends his days in retirement standing at Delmar’s Four Corners in a Santa beard. “Don’t you go talking bad about our Megyn. You ask anyone around Bethlehem: She’s our girl. She's my girl.”


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