Troops Move Into Spindle City As Ongoing Colonie Feud Spills Into Cohoes
Published June 14th, 2015
COHOES – The National Guard has been ordered by Gov. Andrew Cuomo to occupy the Spindle City out of fear bloodshed could erupt at any moment between warring Cohosiers on opposite sides of a bitter feud tied to border skirmishes in nearby Colonie.
“It’s getting scary,” a police source told the Smudge. “We have already seen a fierce exchange of Bob & Ron’s fish fries thrown at passersby. We’ve witnessed many smirks and heard name-calling and seen general all-around meanness. Without question, all the signs of civil war are there.”
Tensions, authorities said, are running high between suburban dwellers who live on Cohoes Hill — aka “The Hillbullies” —and the Cohoes folk of downtown — aka “The Filthies.”
The sides coexisted peacefully until the increasing class warfare between North and South Colonie led to a chasm in bordering Cohoes.
The Hill residents support North Colonie, their wealthy neighbors to the west; while downtown Cohosiers side with South Colonie, whose modest townspeople have roots in the Spindle City.
“We will not forsake our brethren,” Helmut Kiper, 59, of Lancaster Street told the Smudge.
His brother, Sandwich Kiper, 57, of upper Columbia Street, the leader of The Hillbullies, fired back: “This is not our fight, brother.”
Lifelong Cohosier Buzz Rafferty, 98, said he remembers the last civil war in Cohoes in 1975, which ended when Gov. Hugh Carey threatened to sell off the entire city to Ohio if the fighting did not cease.
“That might be Cuomo’s recourse,” said Rafferty, who is neutral in this latest battle. “Nuthin’ like a good ole’ feud, I reckon. Ain’t nuthin’ like a good ole’ feud."
Cohoes Mayor Chuck McDoop said he’s hoping cool heads eventually prevail.
“I’m hoping for the best,” said McDoop. “But if shit goes down, I’m with the Hillbullies.”