Area School to Honor ‘Jake From State Farm’

By Fred Furnace

Published June 21st, 2015

CLIFTON PARK — Shenendehowa High School is bestowing its highest honor on an insurance salesman-turned-television-commercial-star who will soon be inducted into the school's Hall of Fame.

"We are proud of the achievements of Jake Stone — or, as he is known in Hollywood these days, 'Jake from State Farm,’” said Superintendent J. Michael Lipstuck.

As he walked through the school halls as kids made their way to class, Lipstuck spoke of Stone’s star trajectory. “He has tapped his way into the American psyche,” Lipstuck said, “and we can think of no greater way to acknowledge his contribution to our culture than to make him part of our Hall of Fame.”

Also selected for induction along with Stone are Shen greats: college basketball player Greg Koubek, hair replacement guru Sy Sperling, Tuck Andress from the musical group Tuck & Patti, and Trevor Harmony-Mills, the first kid in America to be classified with ADHD, as well as allergies to both peanuts and gluten.

"It is a proud tradition of excellence we have established here at Shen and that tradition is clearly demonstrated by the credentials of those inducted into our Hall of Fame," Lipstuck said. “Trevor Harmony-Mills, for instance, was a true trailblazer in the field of obnoxious kid-related ailments. He and his family opened the door for needless classifications and treatments for millions of suburban white kids all across our great nation.

"In that tradition, it is our great honor to welcome Jake from State Farm into our prestigious Hall," Lipstuck continued. "If we are lucky, maybe he will even sneak his signature line about his pants into his induction speech."

Lipstuck is, of course, referring to Jake’s only line from the now famous State Farm commercial where — in response to a 3 a.m. interrogation from a jealous housewife asking "what are you wearing, Jake from State Farm?" — Jake replies "uh....khakis."

When contacted by the Smudge, Jake from State Farm insisted he is actually from somewhere in the Midwest, never attended Shen, has no idea why he is being honored by the school, and has no plans to attend the event.

And, when asked by the Smudge, "what are you wearing, Jake from State Farm?" Jake responded with a series of expletives before hanging up the telephone.

Jake from State Farms' HOF induction ceremony will be held at the main high school auditorium on Friday, August 14.

Those attending are, of course, encouraged to wear khakis.


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