Local Butcher Stuffs His Meat With Huge Tools

By Pug Ransom

Published June 29th, 2015

ALBANY —Bruno ‘T-Bone’ Buchwald is more than just a butcher. He’s a meat artisan.

“Some people see a cow’s ass and think: steak,” said Buchwald, who’s owned and operated Bruno’s Big Beef Joint in Albany’s south end for 28 years. “Me? When I see a cow’s ass, I see opportunity.”

Buchwald also saw opportunity in the Clinton Correctional Facility escape drama, in which two convicted killers broke out of the maximum-security prison in early June with help from a civilian employee who smuggled into the jail a hacksaw blade buried in ground beef.

“She’s a despicable woman. I mean, what the hell was she thinking?” said Buchwald. “But being a butcher, I saw a sliver of ingenuity there, too. So, I ran with it. That’s what I do.”

And so ever the opportunist, Buchwald last week introduced his own line of tool-stuffed meat, hoping to cash in on the prison-break mania.

“Hey, this is America!” said Buchwald. “Profit is what we do!”

Buchwald’s new line of artisan meat features a circular saw embedded in a brisket; a jig saw buried in a New York strip steak; drill bits stuck inside sausage links; a pick axe rammed inside a ham and a sledge hammer stuffed inside half a cow.

“It’s a novelty, sure, just like the Pet Rock. But my meat could also be quite handy too,” said Buchwald. “Let’s say for instance you buy the half cow with the sledge hammer in it. You reach into your freezer to grab a steak and a guy sneaks up behind you. Well, you just take the sledgehammer and you whack the shit outta him. Bam, there ya go! Bruno just saved your friggin’ life!”


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