Local Man In Beef With Hooters Girl
By Scott Salad
Published August 9th, 2015
COLONIE— A Guilderland man is considering legal action against Hooters on Wolf Road, claiming his server failed to live up to his expectations.
Martin Jokley told The Smudge he “wasn't that impressed” with his waitress and has “seen better.”
“Meh,” the 35-year-old said with a shrug. “She was a little paunchy and a bit long in the tooth. And her eyes were kinda far apart in a Mena Suvari kind of way.”
While the acne-riddled 300-pound supermarket cashier is accusing the chain of false advertising, Jokley said he probably would have forgiven the company for hiring a hostess with “monstrous features” had she “feigned a modicum of interest” in him.
“She didn't flirt with me. She didn't laugh at my jokes. She just took my order and served me my food. What the hell?”
During the snub, Jokley said he stuck close to the Hooterstizers menu, ordering the Lots-a-tots, fried pickles and onion tanglers, before settling on the Shrimp Po Boy Hoagie entree. He finished with what he claimed was a “merely acceptable” piece of caramel fudge cheesecake.
“Yeah, he was a good eater,” said 21-year-old Jeanine McCleaverage, the waitress in question. “But he was creepy. He had these black, almost dead eyes, and a weird way of speaking. I tried not to engage with him too much.”
McCleaverage — who, incidentally, has perfectly placed eyes, straight bright-white teeth and a waistline like you wouldn't believe — also said Jokley made several strange comments to her.
“When I brought him his fifth Diet Pepsi he said he could just eat me up,” said the buxom server. “I gotta tell you, when a fat weirdo says something like that it’s hard to tell if he's being psycho-sexual or just plain hungry. Either way, he scared me.”
Colonie police were eventually called and the well-upholstered grocer was escorted from the premises.
“It's no big deal,” said Jokley when asked about the restraining order McCleaverage obtained against him. “There are plenty of places to have a nice light lunch on Wolf Road. Staying 1,500 feet away from Hooters won't be a problem, believe me.”
McCleaverage, meanwhile, declined to discuss the protection order —along with her relationship status, cup size, home address and phone number— over drinks and tapas at Wolf's 111.