Latham Dentist Drilled for Hunting Beloved African Field Mouse
By Fred Furnace
Published August 16th, 2015
Cherished Zimbabwe field mouse, "Mikey," before he was murdered by a Latham dentist.
LATHAM – Another day, another illegal-hunting allegation leveled against an American medical professional. This time, a Latham dentist is under fire for illegally hunting and killing cherished Zimbabwe field mouse, "Mikey."
Dr. Zipper Sponge of Maxwell Road is being accused by the Zimbabwe government of paying $300 to kill the beloved rodent during an illegal hunt in the African nation last month.
“Mikey was a national treasure,” said Zimbabwe Ambassador Tafadzwa Tinotenda. “He was the most recognized mouse in all of Zimbabwe. He was loved by millions. But now Mikey is dead, as a result of an illegal hunt by yet another evil American doctor. What is up with you people, anyway?”
The allegations leveled against the Latham mouth doctor come on the heels of the controversy surrounding Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer, who allegedly paid a guide $50,000 to lure “Cecil” the lion out of a wildlife reserve in Africa so he could shoot it with a bow.
Sponge, however, is denying the accusations against him, claiming “this is all a big misunderstanding.”
"Yes, I was in Zimbabwe and yes, I killed the mouse, but I never arranged or paid for an illegal hunt,” Sponge said. “We were camping and I woke to find a field mouse scurrying across my tent. I just sort of freaked out and smacked it with my backpack.
“I booked this trip on Groupon, for crying out loud,” Sponge continued. “Mouse hunting wasn’t even an option.”
Meanwhile, Sponge’s dental practice is getting hammered on social media in light of the accusations. Local activists have staged protests in front of his Latham office building, and his Yelp profile has been inundated with scathing reviews.
"That bastard killed Mikey Mouse," shouted Hudson Valley student Connor Clump, who was protesting along with hundreds of other people in front of Sponge’s office on Monday.
Clump admits he never heard of Mikey Mouse before Saturday, but nonetheless claims to be “distraught” and "emotionally scarred" by the killing.
"Mikey was like a family member," Clump said. "This bastard deserves to burn in hell for what he did. We need to end all forms of illegal mouse hunting, and we need to end it now!”
Sponge removed a selfie of himself holding the dead mouse from his Facebook page in light of the controversy. Meanwhile, a decision on Zimbabwe’s extradition request remains pending with the State Department.