Albany High Principal: “Our Girls Could Whoop Ronda Rousey”

By Fred Furnace

Published August 23rd, 2015

(left) Rhonda Rousey, courtesy of BILL/ (right) Albany High School, courtesy of Albany NY at the English language Wikipedia

ALBANY – As UFC champion Ronda Rousey mows through her competition in record time – with her last three fights lasting a total 64 seconds combined – fight promoters are worried a lack of quality competition in the women’s fighting game could limit the career of UFC’s dominant female superstar.

But Albany High School Principal Zach Pinkle says UFC needs to look no further than the Capital Region, as there’s plenty of “worthy challengers” in this year’s senior class.

“I was watching her last fight on television and thought to myself, ‘yeah, this Ronda Rousey is good, but she’s really nothing special,’” Pinkle recalled. “I bet half of the girls in Albany High’s Class of 2016 could whoop her ass.”

“Sometimes,” Pinkle added, “I feel more like the warden of a maximum security prison than I do the principal of an educational institution. And believe me, I’m not bragging. But, hey, this ain’t Bethlehem, Niskayuna, or North Colonie.”

Several school employees agreed with Pinkle’s assessment, noting they “live in constant fear” of the student body, especially the girls.

“Some of them could definitely take Ronda Rousey, no question about it,” said a school crossing guard who asked not be identified out of fear she’d would get her ass kicked. “In fact, when they cross the street, I keep my eyes on the pavement out of fear of looking at them wrong.”

Still, school officials said the district has no plans to add “ultimate fighting” as an extra curricular activity anytime soon.

“No, we don’t plan to encourage this,” said city schools Superintendent J. Morgan Lewis. “Our girls are tough enough as it is. They don't need any additional training."

When reached by the Smudge, Rousey said she was "honored" to be mentioned in the same sentence as Albany High's senior class, and agreed “those girls are some real bad-ass shit-kickers."


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