Local Serial Killer Picked for Bud Light’s ‘Up for Whatever’ Ad
By Fred Furnace
Published August 23rd, 2015
ALBANY — Bud Light’s popular “Up for Whatever” television campaign came to the Capital Region this weekend, with the beer company deciding to host a surprise event Saturday night at the Pump Room nightclub on Central Avenue.
The decision proved costly, however, when producers inadvertently chose a local murderer to star in the spot.
The popular ad campaign works like a mini-reality show, as an unsuspecting “Average Joe” is selected at random and then whisked away for a night of wild adventures featuring actors and celebrities, while the entire event is secretly videotaped. Unbeknownst to Bud Light’s producers, however, the “Average Joe” chosen Saturday ‑ Virgil Thomasson of Kennedy Street in Cohoes ‑ is a real-life serial killer.
Thomasson was selected after an actress, posing as a buxom bartender, leaned over and provocatively asked whether he was “up for whatever happens next.” Thomasson quickly agreed.
“Unfortunately, what happened next was a murder spree that left six dead and several others injured,” said Albany Police Captain Dale McMuffin.
“The suspect’s first victim was the buxom bartender, whom he murdered in the parking lot as she was whisking him away to a limousine. When the occupants in the car witnessed what was transpiring, they tried to flee only to end up being murdered, too. Bud Light really screwed the pooch with this decision. That guy turned out to be a real psycho.”
Among those killed was former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who for some reason was disguised as a crazed Ping-Pong player. Actor Don Cheadle and his pet llama were also killed in the melee.
The slayings were captured in high definition by Bud Light’s extensive network of cameras and audio equipment hidden throughout the property. Thomasson was quickly captured by police and later admitted to murdering and dismembering at least nine other people in the Capital Region since March.
“I guess you just never know,” said McMuffin. “If there is a lesson to be learned here, it’s that you should never ask a creepy loner at a bar if he is ‘up for whatever happens next,’ because there is a decent chance he will be a serial killer and that what will happen next is he will murder and dismember you.”
Thomasson's defense attorneys say his client is innocent.
"There was a verbal agreement that all parties were 'up for whatever happens next,'" stated J. Scooter Hunk, Thomasson’s lawyer. "My client fulfilled his end of the bargain, but Bud Light did not. If anyone was wronged here, it was Mr. Thomasson."