Crescent Man Learns He's a ‘Cuckold’
Published August 30th, 2015
Famous cuckolds include John C. Reilly in 'The Good Girl' and St. Joseph.
HALFMOON — A man who has spent the last eight years raising a child that is not biologically his said he was both surprised and weirdly delighted to learn he's a “cuckold.”
“Who knew there was a specific word that described me and my situation?” said Chip Purell, 37, of Lansing Street.
The traveling diaper salesmen said he was attempting to write a Letter to the Editor in response to an Albany Smudge story on the "Jake from State Farm" commercial when he came across “cuckold” while looking up synonyms for infidelity.
“Yeah, that's me alright. My wife got pregnant after cheating on me nine years ago yesterday. We eventually reconciled, but the kid's not mine. So yeah, cool, I guess I'm a cuckold!”
According to The Webster's Dictionary, a cuckold is a man whose wife engages in sex with another person.
The Junior College of Albany grad — who learned he's also a “poltroon” and a bit on the “foppish” side — seemed equally interested in the word’s adjectival equivalent.
“If I'm truly a cuckold then I must have the qualities of a cuckold. Therefore, I can honestly say that I had no idea how cuckoldy I've been acting lately.”
Yet, despite Purell's newfound interest in old-school words, when asked to put a label on his wife Barbara, he said he prefers commonly used, classic terminology.
“She's still a giant whore,” the cuckold said.