Famously Flamboyant Fitness Guru Helps Cuomo ‘Sweat’ Away the Flab

By Fred Furnace

Published September 6th, 2015

ALBANY ‑ Gov. Andrew Cuomo is looking svelte these days, and the genius of 1980's weight loss guru Richard Simmons is getting all the credit.

"I came across an old VHS tape of Sweatin' to the Oldies up in the attic, and decided to pop it in the VCR," Cuomo explained, referring to Simmons’ cult classic exercise tape from 1988. "Before I knew it, I was shaking and shimmying to Great Balls of Fire."

Throughout the workout video, the flamboyant Simmons leads viewers through aerobic dance exercises choreographed to classic oldies tunes, including It’s My Party (and I’ll cry if I want to) and Wipe Out.

The video’s insane popularity spawned numerous sequels and spin-offs, such as Tonin’ to the Oldies and Disco Sweat. Simmons reportedly earned trillions from these videos, topping Forbes list of the world’s wealthy humans from 1989 to 1996.

"I was always a huge Richard Simmons fan and always felt a kinship with him. We’re both gentle sorts, cut from the same cloth I guess," Cuomo said. "I have to tell you, too: I especially loved Richard’s guest appearances on General Hospital. Mr. Simmons is one hell of an actor, and an even better person. And his dance moves aren’t half bad, either.”

It has been only three weeks since Cuomo stumbled upon the forgotten VHS tape, but he has already dropped 20 pounds. Cuomo says he is not finished yet, and intends to keep “sweatin’” with Mr. Simmons for the foreseeable future.

"I love it, I really do," said the governor. "It is so much fun to go home, put on my tights and dance to The Locomotion and Louie Louie with my pal Richard. After a long day of governing with an iron fist, it is really therapeutic."

According to staffers, Cuomo has added a number of other Simmons’ exercise tapes to his Christmas list, including: Sweatin’ to the Oldies (Vol. 3), Boogie Down the Pounds, and Dance Your Pants Off.

“He keeps sending us eBay links as reminders,” said one staffer, who asked not to be identified. “Personally, I think this is a little weird. But the governor is into some weird shit in his free time, so I can’t say I’m totally surprised, either.”


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