Albany Clerk Refuses to Issue License to 'Gay' Dog

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published September 13th, 2015

ALBANY — A rogue city clerk assistant is refusing to issue a dog license to an Albany couple because she suspects the family dog is gay and supports same-sex marriage.

Clerk assistant Barbara Pillingsby, 68, says she won’t hand a dog license to Dan and Lisa Steppenwolf for their 2-month-old Yorkshire terrier, Marnie, because she saw the pooch try to hump another puppy in a local park.

"I saw what he did. I know how he thinks. I will not allow this sinful dog to corrupt our innocent city,” Pillingsby said. “It is an immoral affront to my religious beliefs to know that such an animal would be licensed under God's law."

The couple was astonished.

An incensed Lisa Steppenwolf wrote on Twitter: “Who the hell is Barbara Pillingsby? Who gave this bitch the right to decide who gets to have a dog license?”

Pillingsby said she saw Marnie, a male dog, try to hump Rex, a tiny Chihuahua, in the city dog park near Huck Finn’s warehouse. The alleged incident, she said, took place as she was walking her dog, Chastity, a golden retriever, whom she stressed is “100 percent heterosexual.”

“It was appalling,” Pillingsby said.  “The devil was in that dog. He tried to lie with another male dog. It was an affront to all we hold decent. The Bible is crystal clear about this: No same-sex dog sex. Forget being licensed, that beast should be put to sleep before he convinces humans to follow his sinful ways.”

Pillingsby, an ex-bookkeeper convicted of grand larceny for stealing from her son’s kindergarten class, said Marnie will be licensed “over my dead body,” — a threat Lisa Steppenwolf said she hopes the city worker goes makes good on.

Meanwhile, Pillingsby said gay dog or not, she would welcome the couple’s friendship once they apologize for Marnie’s sins.

“Love the sinful dog owner,” said Pillingsby. “Hate the sinful dog.”


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