Chinese Hackers Strike Again, Steal Orders of Capital Region Diners
By Fred Furnace
Published September 20th, 2015
Hot Dog Charlie's in Cohoes, from GoogleEarth
ALBANY — The same suspected Chinese hackers accused of stealing the personal information of over 20 million federal workers have apparently struck again — this time targeting Capital Region restaurants.
“We believe China has infiltrated the food ordering systems of several beloved local chains; specifically, Mr. Subb, Hot Dog Charlie’s, and Paesan’s Pizza,” stated Raymohr Flannigan, section chief for the FBI’s Albany Field Office. “No credit card information or Social Security numbers were compromised. This was a targeted attack focused solely on food orders — and in particular, the topping preferences of area residents.”
It was not immediately clear why the Chinese government would orchestrate such an elaborate attack aimed at Albany-area eateries, or why they were so focused on toppings. Nonetheless, officials briefed on the situation were convinced that China was behind the attack.
“This was not some ‘lone wolf’ or bored high school kid,” said Albany Mayor Kathy Sheehan. “The evidence is overwhelming that this was the Chinese government. And now, those bastards know the toppings preferences of damn-near the entire Capital Region.”
“If you prefer extra mayo, or like to add bacon, or usually hold-the-onions, or order your pizza with sausage and black olives — China now knows everything,” she added. “Your most sensitive food ordering information has been compromised.”
The Chinese government, meanwhile, vehemently denies any involvement in the attack, and issued a statement to discredit the allegations:
“We are aware of the accusations made by the FBI and Albany Mayor Sheehan, and flatly deny any involvement in this incident. How could anyone take these ridiculous claims seriously? Especially those coming from Mayor Sheehan, who orders her mini-hot dogs from Charlie’s with ketchup and sauerkraut, but holds the cheese and meat sauce. She is obviously a lunatic who lacks all credibility.”
FBI officials said the attack is “mostly harmless,” since the stolen information cannot be used for purposes of identity theft or credit fraud.
“Nonetheless, as a precaution, we encourage Capital Region residents to consider ‘mixing-it-up’ a bit over the next few months when ordering toppings,” Flannigan said.