Man Fakes Friendship with NFL Star and Former Local Standout Dion Lewis

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published October 4th, 2015

photo by Jason Hank/transferred and edited by Crazypaco

ALBANY – The National Football League has asked an East Greenbush man to stop telling people he went to Albany Academy with New England Patriots running back Dion Lewis and that the men are “good friends.”

The NFL sent Kurt Rasmuffin, 25, a cease and desist order after Rasmuffin announced on Facebook, Twitter and local radio that he and Lewis are “bros going way back.” 

Rasmuffin, an omelet maker at a local diner, said he and Lewis text each other each week before Lewis takes the field.

“Yo Deeeeeee-on! Your boy Razzie got yer back in the A-L-B! Can’t wait to C-U soon, bro,” Rasmuffin Tweeted.

“Kurt who?” Lewis responded. "I don't know this dude. LOL."

A panicked Rasmuffin called the Capital Region’s local ESPN affiliate, 104.5 The Team, and told hosts Armen Williams and LeVack that Lewis and he are “like peas and carrots.”

“That's just Dion being Dion," Rasmuffin said.  "We’re such good friends it’s crazy. We’re just like Forrest Gump and Bubba.”

Though Lewis attended Albany Academy, he transferred to a school in New Jersey to finish his education. Meanwhile, Albany Academy spokesman Monte Moravian said that while Rasmuffin attended the school, he was not there at the same time Lewis was.

Moravian added that Rasmuffin was widely viewed as a “weirdo" by classmates.

"Kurt Rasmuffin is full of shit,” the spokesman said.

Steve Grogan, a spokesman for the Patriots, issued the following statement:  “Mr. Lewis is proud of his roots in Albany. But those roots don’t involve anybody named Kurt Rasmuffin.”

Still, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick praised Rasmuffin’s tenacity.

“Kurt identified the situation, recognized the opportunity to process his make-believe friendship and did his job. And that’s what execution is about. This game of pretending you know people is about execution,” Belichick said, clad in nothing but a hoodie with a jar of urine stuffed inside.  “Now, onto Dallas.”


RELATED ARTICLES

• EXCLUSIVE: NY sells 'Bills' to Bon Jovi
• Thousands of Capital Region Residents Mistakenly Discover Hockey Exists in Albany
• Met Fan Admits He Was Roller Skating at Guptils During Famous Game 6
• Feds probing ‘corrupt’ Fantasy Football commish
Gronk and Bros. Crash Local Kid's Birthday Bash