Large Rural County Discovered West of Albany

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published October 4th, 2015

ALBANY – State explorers have confirmed the discovery of 626-square-mile landmass west of Albany where inhabitants believe they live in the Capital Region.

The new land — called “Schoharie County” — was found when the state’s leading explorer, Guy Florentine, was surfing the Internet and ended up on the Wikipedia page of the alleged county which, according to the site, is home to 32,749 people.

Equally shocking to Florentine was a line on the site that read: “Schoharie County is part of the Albany-Schenectady-Troy, NY Metropolitan Statistical Area.”

“I thought, ‘They’re putting me on. This Schoharie County is not part of the Capital District,’” Florentine said.  “But it turns out I was wrong. Apparently this place has been around for a while. I'll be damned.”

Albany County Executive Leonard McCoy said he was “concerned” such a large area could exist under the radar, adding that he planned to speak to his fellow leaders and dispatch a team of officials from Albany, Rensselaer and Schenectady counties to travel to the new-found land to study its inhabitants. Their first stop will be the county’s seat — a place called "Village of Schoharie."

“I’m a little skeptical this is on the level,” said Schenectady County Executive Martino Velvet, who opposed sending a fact-finding team to the unexplored land. “It sounds like someone is making this up all for a big laugh. Well, I can assure you the taxpayers aren’t laughing.”

Schoharie County apparently includes 16 towns, six villages and five hamlets, according to Wikipedia.

"'Seriously, we're just outside Albany,” said Schoharie County Executive Mark Dahlberg said. “Forty minutes, tops."

Dahlberg also claimed the world famous Howe Caverns — located not far from Cobleskill, a suburb of Binghamton three hours southwest of Albany — was part of the new Schoharie County.

"I’m starting to feel a little insulted here,” Dahlberg said. “What is this search party crap? We're not new. I’ve been to Albany lots of times. My son works there five days a week. There’s a highway, Route 88, that we take to drive there. We are too part of the Capital Region. Now I’m hanging up. I’ve had enough of this horseshit.”


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