Governor to appear as self at ‘Fright Fest’
By Quack Davis
Published October 18th, 2015
LAKE GEORGE – Get ready, thrill seekers! The Great Escape theme park is adding a new face to its cadre of creeps at this year’s annual Fright Fest: Gov. Andrew Cuomo.
“At first, the governor was going to come dressed as Dracula or Frankenstein,” said Great Escape President and CEO Beverly Hills. "But we told him, ‘Governor, please just be yourself It’ll be perfect.’ So he agreed, as long as we put him in charge and call him ‘Master.’ Which is fine by us. It’s all very exciting.”
Cuomo spokesman Al Lewis said the governor, a horror film fanatic, “keeps the spirit of Halloween in his heart 12 months a year.”
“You have to keep in mind that Andrew is not only an incredibly scary individual, but he also lives in a Munsters-like mansion in Albany,” the spokesman said, speaking of the Executive Mansion on Eagle Street. “In fact, the whole Mansion neighborhood is pretty frightening. So, Andy will feel right at home.”
Cuomo will wear his normal clothes for the duration of the event without make-up. He will hide in the former rabbit hole that was part of the old Storytown U.S.A., then spring randomly to frighten park visitors while reciting segments of his last few “State of the State” speeches, officials said.
"This is the theatrical side of the governor's scare-you-to-death approach to governing,” said NYPIRG’s Blaine Korner. “Unfortunately, the substance of his scare-you-to-death style is still done behind closed doors."
The park will strongly advise anyone with heart ailments, who is pregnant or prone to dizziness to stay far away from the governor.
A source close to Cuomo said the theme park is also actively trying to recruit former Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, (D-Manhattan) and former Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos, (R-Nassau) — both of whom are under criminal indictment — to stage fake budget negotiations with Cuomo outside the Screamin’ Demon’ rollercoaster.
“It’s going to be our scariest Fright Fest ever!” Hills said.