Troy Man Obsessed With Pint-Sized Actor

By Dodie Fingerton

Published November 1st, 2015

Peter Dinklage (Photo by Gage Skidmore)

TROY— A city man's character is being called into question after he casually admitted to friends that his favorite actor is a little person.

Donald Emerish, 34, of 9th Street, was at a party Saturday night when he was overheard praising Peter Dinklage, the Emmy Award-winning actor best known for his role as Tyrion Lannister in the HBO series Game of Thrones.

“We were discussing great actors and I happened to say that I really liked Peter Dinklage,” said Emery. “The whole room went silent. Everyone was looking at me. I was like, 'Wait, did I just say something wrong?'”

Patrick Frise, who was hosting the party, said he immediately asked Emerish to leave.

“There's no place in my home for weirdoes like him,” said Frise. “I think he's sick.”

Frise's wife, Jeanie Bichon-Frise, agreed. “Yeah, that was completely uncalled for. I mean, like little people don't have enough on their plates already, now they're a fetish for some weird middle-aged cinemaphile? Don's perverted. I don't want him around here anymore.”

Though Dinklage was born with a common form of dwarfism known as achondroplasia, Emerish insists his opinions are based purely on the thespian's film and stage work and not the fact he stands a mere 4-feet 5-inches.

“This isn't some sort of freakish compulsion. I just like him as an actor. He was great in Living in Oblivion, The Station Agent, Elf, The Baxter and X-Men: Days of Future Past... and he's absolutely killing it on Game of Thrones. What's wrong with saying that I really like him?”

“Did he say 'freakish compulsion'?" asked Keith Glerb, an acquaintance of Emerish's who was also at the party. “Eeww, no, that's gross and totally inappropriate. I don't think Don's right in the head.”

Emerish went on to deny reports that his second favorite actor is Atticus Shaffer — the young man with osteogenesis imperfecta, a congenital condition that causes fragile bones and stunted growth— who plays Brick Heck on the ABC sitcom The Middle.

“That's an outright lie,” maintained Emerish. “I never said that. But if I did, what… would it be a crime or something?”


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