Menands Man Happy With His (Finally) ‘Hard’ Life

By Fenwick Jolsen

Published November 15th, 2015

LATHAM — A once-impotent man and the urologist that prescribed to him Cialis reunited Thursday during an emotional news conference, during which the formerly flaccid patient kept attempting to show off his erection.

The touching — and, at times, awkward — meeting at the Latham Infirmary for Penile Miracles follows the reunion in September at Albany Medical Center between a burn victim and the nurse who cared for her nearly 40 years earlier. That meeting made national headlines. The reunion between the urologist and the once-limp lothario did not.

Nonetheless, it was no less moving.

“This doctor,” said a tearful Dezi Arnez of Menands, “is a savior. It’s simple as that. He made me whole again. Hell, he made me hard again.”

Unable to hold it together, Arnez walked away from the podium and embraced Dr. Richard Hardwood, who appeared almost embarrassed at the attention drawn upon him.

“Male sexual health is no less important than any other type of health,” said Hardwood. “The fact is, erectile dysfunction is sometimes an indicator of heart disease. Fortunately, in Mr. Arnez’s situation, tests determined this is not the case. Still, it is important we treat this condition, and advances in biomedical research has allowed us to do this with increasing effectiveness.”

Pushing the doctor away from the podium, Arnez said: “Oh hell, doc, stop being so modest. Thanks to this guy — this genius, really — I went from being a wet noodle to a diamond cutter.”

Arnez’s wife, Lucy, attended Thursday’s news conference but did not speak during the event. However, during a short interview with a Smudge reporter in the parking lot, she expressed frustration with her husband’s newfound virility.

“Sure, at first, it was nice,” she said. “But now, I literally have to hide from him. Thanks to these goddamn pills, he won’t stop pawing me. And, he’s always pointing to the bulge in his pants with this creepy smile on his face. I know he thinks Dr. Hardwood is a savior, but frankly, I’d like to see this quack’s license pulled.”


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