Man Accused Of Lying To Cashier About His ‘Missing’ Price Chopper Card
By Quack Davis
Published November 29th, 2015
BETHLEHEM – A frequent shopper at a Price Chopper supermarket in Slingerlands is reaping the rewards of an AdvantEdge cardholder, without having any proof he actually owns one, the Smudge has learned.
“I must have left it at home again. So sorry,” Gary Bandage, 53, of Delmar, told a cashier at the New Scotland Road location on Sunday.
But a local gadfly who witnessed the event accused Bandage of lying, saying it was the fourteenth consecutive Sunday he was mysteriously unable to present his card when asked to do so at checkout.
“This is unfair,” said the busybody, Martha Everbread, 78, of Slingerlands, who asked that she not be identified for fear of reprisal.
“How many more times will Gary Bandage get instant savings on thousands of items throughout Price Chopper stores with exclusive money-saving specials, discounts and promotions? It's horseshit!”
Moose Darwin, a spokesman for Price Chopper, said the store “doesn’t give a rat's bunghole” whether shoppers forget their card, so long as they keep shopping at the supermarket.
Nonetheless, Everbread reported Bandage to the Smudge's media partner, CBS-568 TV, and its award-winning consumer reporter Craig Lloyd, who airs a weekly segment called "You Paid 34 Cents For It!"
The Smudge, joined by Everbread and Lloyd, knocked on Bandage’s door to confront the shopper and demand he show his AdvantEdge card once and for all.
“I don’t know anything about this,” said his petite wife, Sherry, who answered the door. “Gary, why are there strange people at our home?”
When Bandage came to the door, he said, “I would love to show you all my card. I really would. I just can’t seem to find it right now. I’m so sorry.”
“Stop lying!” Everbread screamed, threatening to report Bandage to state Attorney General Eric Schneiderman.
"Unfortunately, the attorney general will be preoccupied for the next 27 months trying to shut down the FanDuel and DraftKings daily fantasy sports sites," said Jackson Kent, a Schneiderman spokesman. "So, I guess that means that nosey bitch is shit out of luck."