Local Whore Snared In Web Of Charlie Sheen Scandal

By Pug Ransom

Published November 29th, 2015

COLONIE — A South Colonie hooker who regularly plies her trade at low-budget motels along Central Avenue has found herself at the center of the Charlie Sheen HIV-saga.

The former star of television’s Two and a Half Men and Oscar-winning motion picture Platoon appeared on NBC’s Today Show Nov. 17 to disclose he was HIV-positive, noting he was making his condition public to thwart blackmail attempts made against him.

Acting on a tip, The Albany Smudge immediately launched an investigation following Sheen’s claim, discovering that the threats were coming from the Capital Region — specifically from local prostitute and intravenous drug-user Agnes Lesion, a long-time South Colonie resident.

Lesion, who appears at least 15 years older than her 28 years of age, admitted to the Smudge she had threatened to disclose Sheen’s status to the National Enquirer, but said she did so in a “fit of blind rage” triggered by the realization the actor had lied to her when he claimed he was “clean.”

“Charlie and I met on Craigslist when he was in town for Albany’s Dutch Heritage and Wooden Shoe Festival, which he attends annually,” said Lesion.  “Whenever he’s in the Capital Region, we’ll usually shack up and party somewhere on Central Avenue. What we had was special — or at least, so I thought. I mean, I don’t just let anyone give me a Dog in the Bathtub or a Dirty Sanchez.”

Lesion said while the relationship started out casual, it soon turned serious, adding that Sheen led her to believe she was “the only one.”

“I know he has a long history of whoring and drugging, but I believed that was in the past. None of us are perfect,” she said. “But, I draw the line at liars and cheats. I mean, what’s this world coming to when you can’t trust a mentally unbalanced, drug-addicted Hollywood bad boy with a penchant for porn stars and hookers?”

But Pinky Wadsworth, who shares a pimp with Lesion, said her colleague’s actions amount to nothing more than a “shameless money grab.”

“This was extortion, plain and simple,” said Pinky. “She knew Charlie was, at one time, the highest paid actor on TV and she was looking to cash in. Agnes is all about Agnes. She’s the kind of nasty bitch that gives junky prostitutes a bad name.”


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