Christmas Decorating Ends in Divorce for Another Area Couple
By Fred Furnace
Published December 13th, 2015
Todd's Reese's ornament that led to divorce
ALBANY — Another local couple is calling it quits after weekend plans for "fun holiday decorating" turned ugly.
Todd and Jan Quinn of Albany announced via Facebook Sunday they will be separating after only two years of marriage. The Quinns are just the latest local couple to divorce as a result of arguments over Christmas decorations.
"My idiot husband wants to decorate our apartment with crap," she explained. "He has a complete set of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer ornaments, a set of Charlie Brown ornaments, a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup ornament, six New York Jets ornaments and a few dozen ornaments he made in elementary school. And the list goes on and on.
"Turns out I married a fucking third-grader," she screamed. “The man is a moron. I don’t want that crap in my house.”
Todd, meanwhile, says Jan became "neurotic" even before the decorating began, and was “on his ass” from the moment the decorating started.
“As soon as we started to unpack the Christmas decorations, her whole attitude changed,” he said. “She was snapping at me about every little thing. I don’t even know what I did wrong. She became an intolerable shrew.
“Then she started screaming at me about my ornaments,” Todd continued. “She only wanted to put up the ornaments she purchased from the Lenox Outlet. Our tree looks like some rich Victorian-era grandmother decorated it. My wife’s ornaments suck.”
Jan said she realized the decorating dispute uncovered fundamental differences in the couple’s worldview.
“We are just very different people,” she said. “We do not see eye-to-eye. He doesn’t respect my views, and I can’t live with a monster like that.”
Renowned SUNY Behavioral Psychology Professor M. Norman Bunny said the Quinns are but the latest couple to fall victim to the stresses of decorating the house for the holidays.
“It's becoming an epidemic," Bunny explained. "Decorating the house for Christmas is now the number two cause of divorce in the state; right behind ‘I married a queer.’”
Albany County records on marital statistics show that disagreements about ornament selection have caused more than 80 area divorces so far this holiday season. Another two-dozen marriages have ended due to arguments relating to tangled or non-functioning Christmas lights, and 20 more have ended due to arguments about how best to re-arrange the living room furniture to make room for the tree.
Bunny’s advice to couples is simple: just try to be nice.
“This is supposed to be fun, folks,” Bunny said. "Leave the F-bombs at the door and just try to get along. It will all be over in a few hours."