Mass Snubbings in Bethlehem Continue in Wake of Latest Home Energy Report
By Scott Salad
Published December 27th, 2015
BETHLEHEM— Another family in Bethlehem is being systematically shunned by neighbors: This time for standing out as the most energy-efficient household in their upscale neighborhood.
The Greenspoons of 27 Massengill Way used 812 units — a term that National Grid uses to represent a combination of electricity (kWh) and natural gas (therms) — to power their 2,800 square-foot Dutch Oven Hollow home, according to a recent energy report.
In a comparison of 100 nearby households of like-size and similar heating sources, the ranking was 400 units better than the 1,200 unit average, solidifying their ninth straight quarter as top dog in the posh community.
“For a house that big, that's a pretty darn good number,” said Rogue Mullman of the New York State Energy Research and Development Authority. “They’re setting a great example.”
But neighbors of the Greenspoons unaccustomed to being labeled anything but above-average don't see it that way, and claim the family's high marks are an indication that something fraudulent is afoot.
“They're obviously skewing the data,” said next-door neighbor Kylie Handgel-Grammar. “We just don't know how. Until we find out, we have no choice but to snub them.”
Handgel-Grammar described the mass snubbing as similar to the one the town recently deployed against a single mother of two after she sent her kids to school with unapproved snacks.
“There's a simple two-pronged methodology to our snubbings,” the 28-year-old mother of three naturally gifted children explained. “We're going to ignore them and then talk about them behind their backs.”
Todd Greenspoon — who said he thought his family was already being snubbed for not taking part in the neighborhood's annual Christmas Light Fight — denied any wrongdoing.
“If by 'skewing the data' our neighbors mean that we're conscious of our usage and diligent at reducing our carbon footprint through energy saving techniques, then yes, I guess were skewing the data,” said the 44-year-old Greenspoon. “That wouldn't be the word I'd use though. And as far as the Christmas Light Fight goes, not only are we green but we're Jewish.”
It remains to be seen what effect news of the family's faith will have on a town named after the birthplace of Jesus Christ. In the meantime, anyone who would like to participate in the ostracism is asked to stop by the Handgel-Grammar residence to pick up their “Welcome to the Greenspoon Snubbing” informational packet.