New Mom Driving Friends Berserk On Facebook
By Quack Davis
Published December 27th, 2015
CLIFTON PARK – Oh, baby.
Proud mama Henrietta Zoobeard will not stop posting photos of her precious bundle of joy on Facebook – and it is driving her friends bananas.
Zoobeard, 34, an overweight part-time horse whisperer, posted 178 photos of her 18-month-old son Morky in one afternoon, “tagging” 300 of her closest friends in the process.
“Cutest. Kid. Ever!” Zoobeard wrote in one post, which showed her and Morky in matching outfits.
She then followed her onslaught of images with another photo barrage — this one spanning over three days and totally well into the hundreds.
"Sorry gals, but my Morky is soooo good looking! The prettiest baby in the world! LOL!" Zoobeard added.
“OMG she needs to stop!” Dorothy Ogreface wrote in a private message on Facebook, to a third friend, Suzy Blamegame.
“She is outta fucking control,” Blamegame wrote back. “This bi-otch better stop tagging me!”
Even Zoobeard’s mom, Rita Mustache, is tired of Morky Mania.
“I’m embarrassed for poor little Mork,” the grandma told her friends. “The little darling has no idea his mommy is a jackass.”
The Smudge obtained the name and password of Zoobeard’s Facebook account — and the private personal information of her friends and relatives, too — from Phlegm Jones, a former computer hacker who claims he is now dedicated to “doing the right thing.”
Jones said he decided to do so after Zoobeard tagged him in more than 300 photos of her baby.
“My girlfriend is pissed that I’ve been tagged in all those photos,” said Jones. “Now she thinks I’m the one who knocked that fat Zoobeard lady up.”