Fed Up Local Man Sues Doctor, Claims ‘I Know My Body’

By Fenwick Jolsen

Published January 10th, 2016

Despite a 109-degree temperature, the PA said it was just a cold.

EAST GREENBUSH — A frustrated East Greenbush man suffering from a lingering sinus infection and general malaise has filed suit against his new doctor.

“It’s been four fucking weeks now and I can’t shake it,” said Womp Blyleven. “I have a sinus infection, but they keep telling me it’s a cold. I’m 48 years old and I know my body, goddamn it! Now give me the antibiotics I’ve asked for and I’ll be on my goddamn way.”

Citing patient confidentiality laws, Dr. Ramshine Harnukian would not comment on Blyleven’s condition. But speaking in general terms, the physician said antibiotics are not prescribed to patients merely suffering from a common cold.

“But I have a sinus infection, goddamn it!” Blyleven maintained. “And fuck Harnukian. One of the reasons I’m suing his ass is because every time I try to get into see him, they make me see his fucking physician assistant instead. Our health care system blows.”

Blyleven said each year around this time, he’ll get a canker sore, which indicates a sinus infection is coming. A few days later, the bones under his eyes will begin to hurt and his body will get that “achy flu-like feeling.” Then he’ll develop a cough that brings up dark-yellow phlegm.

“It’s been happening since I was 20 and I have this drill down pat,” he said. “I’d go to the doctor, they’d give me a 5-day prescription for azithromycin and within a week, I’d be as good as new.”

But Blyleven said since switching to Harnukian following the retirement of his former family doctor, it’s been “a nightmare.”

“I’ve been to his office three times in the last month,” the East Greenbush man said. “And each and every time, I get stuck waiting for more than an hour, packed like a sardine in a room with 50 other people hacking and spitting and gagging all over me. It’s gross.

“Then, instead of being allowed to see Harnukian, they make see the physician assistant, who for some reason has a God complex. And this douche insists all I have is a common cold. Well, he can’t bite me. I know what I got.”

Harnukian would not comment on his physician assistant’s job performance, saying only that he has “full trust in the professionals under my employ.”

“Professionals my ass. Next time I’m in there, I’m gonna cough right in Harnukian’s face,” said Blyleven. “Let’s see how much faith he has in P.A. then once he begins feeling as shitty as I do.”


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