Trump Wants to Turn Adirondacks Into Massive Golf Course

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published January 24th, 2016

Public Domain

ALBANY — Republican front-runner Donald Trump said if he’s elected president he’ll transform the six-million-acre Adirondack Park into a giant golf course bearing his name.

"Why the fuck not?" Trump asked while campaigning in Lake Placid. "It'd be outta sight."

The future "Donald J. Trump Ain't Daks Cool!" golf course would be modeled after the vagina of Trump's ex-wife, Marla Maples. The tycoon said he came up with the idea while "taking a shit" in a local Burger King. 

Under the plan, Lake Placid would become a casino. Also, neither Mexicans nor Muslims would be allowed in the park, Trump said.

North Country denizens liked the sound of the candidate's pitch.  

"You gotta give that man credit, he sure speaks his mind," said Jessie O'Turk, 38, a third generation Adirondack Park resident from Ray Brook.

"Can you say 'straight shooter?'" added Catbird McGonagle, 64, of Warrensburg.  "Talk about outside-the-box thinking. Man's got my vote."

Trump, a former Cohoes resident, owns golf courses around the country and two in Scotland. Sally Skittles, a Colonie-based environmentalist, said Trump does not need another one in upstate New York.

Skittles reminded Trump the Adirondack Park is the largest publicly protected area in mainland United States — home to thousands of New Yorkers, 3,000 lakes, 30,000 miles of rivers and streams, and habitats that include globally unique wetland types and old growth forest.

"Big frickin' deal," Trump said, smirking. "Go hug a tree, OK doll?"

Though state law stipulates the Adirondacks "shall not be sold, nor shall they be leased or taken by any person or corporation, public or private," the GOP frontrunner said: “I don’t care.”

"The concept of the Adirondack Park was created by, and for, the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive, " Trump said. "So what's wrong with a little golf?"


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