Watervliet Woman Wins First-Ever “Under the Boob Pen Challenge”
Published January 31st, 2016
LAS VEGAS— The city of Watervliet is celebrating today after one of its own captured glory on the national stage.
Regina Lectar, 32, won the first-ever “Under the Boob Pen Challenge” in Las Vegas over the weekend after clenching a Bic pen in the fold of her left breast for six days, 14 hours and 22 minutes. The mother of three beat out an Alabama teen by almost seven hours, earning the top spot and a check for $418.
“Cohoes has it's mastodon, Latham has it's circle and now Watervliet has... well... a resident with extraordinarily talented breasts,” said Mayor Augustus Hatmaker. “This will be remembered as our finest moment.”
The under-the-boob pen trend started earlier this year after thousands of buxom woman all over the world began posting photos to social media showing the lower half of their breasts clutching pens. While most thought of it as just another Internet meme, one man — who some call a true visionary — saw its potential and acted.
Enter Guy Flem, president of the Las Vegas-based company, Titty Cram Incorporated.
“These ladies really put their money where their mammies are,” said Flem, whose company sponsored the event. “It was an amazing sight to see. Very moving. I even got to touch one last night.”
Along with “creating a forum for women to show off their vice-like titty-grips,” Flem acknowledged his $2,500 a week drug addiction as a motivating factor.
“I love the cocaine! I love the cocaine!” the Buckcherry fan confirmed over the phone.
Back in Watervliet, word of Lectar's win spread from pizzeria to pizzeria.
“It's impressive, no doubt, but I'm not completely surprised,” said Don Blimp, a high school classmate of Lectar's who was sharing a meat-lovers pizza with his fiancé, Sharon, at the Purple Pub. “I saw her get her blouse ripped off in a cat fight outside my 11th grade pre-calculus class in 1998, so I guess I'm one of the few people who have actually seen them in action.”
“We are the Arsenal City, so it makes sense that one of our own would be honored for her giant cannons,” said Rev. Mitch “Mitchy” Mitchell, a pastor at St. Stephens who was picking up a Buffalo chicken pizza at Rusty's. "Get it? Cannons?"
Once her winnings run out, Lectar is expected to return to Watervliet — and a hometown victory parade — via Greyhound Bus sometime in February.