Delmar Couple ‘Confused’ By Rap Performance at Grammys

By Quack Davis

Published February 21st, 2016

BETHLEHEM – Rhonda and Eddie Newberry could not believe their eyes.

The 60-something white couple were enjoying the 58th Annual Grammy Awards in the family room of their leafy Delmar home last Sunday when acclaimed rap artist Kendrick Lamar appeared on their television dressed in prison clothes and shackles to sing his hit, “The Blacker the Berry.”

“What the heck is that?” Rhonda Newberry asked her husband in astonishment. “Is that man in jail?”

“I’m not sure what that is, dear,” Eddie Newberry answered as he stared at the TV, his bifocals resting on the end of his nose.

"I'm scared, dear," Rhonda Newberry told her husband. "I wish they would go back to that Taylor Swift. She is such a doll."

The performance continued. Lamar and a chorus of shackled dancers pretended to be prison inmates, as glow-in-the-dark imagery shone in the background. As the performance drew to a close, a map of Africa filled the screen with the word,  "Compton" emblazed upon it.

“For Pete’s sake, what the heck is Compton?” Eddie Newberry asked, scratching his head. “This whole act is straight outta Crazyville.”

"Could it stand for Marjorie and Dalton Compton from our bridge club?" Rhonda Newberry asked.

"I don't think so, dear," her husband answered.  "In that case, it would have to be the Comptons — with an ‘s’."

Eddie dialed the couple’s close friends, Dan and Mary Hopkins, who live on a tree-lined street in Guilderland, to discuss what had become of the Grammys. Turns out the Hopkins were mystified too, as were their mutual friends Harriet and Stuart McPherson of Loudonville. So, Newberry phoned his daughter, Sara Newberry-Spock, who lives in a tony Boston suburb with her successful husband, Jeff Spock, a software engineer.

“We’re very confused, Sara,” Eddie Newberry told his daughter. 

“Nah dad, it’s all cool,” his daughter told him.  “Lamar is giving a nod to Black Lives Matter.”

“Oh, I see. It’s a black thing,” Newberry said, suddenly much more calm.

Turning to his wife, Eddie Newberry said,  “Don’t worry, Rhonda. It’s just a black thing.” And then, he smiled and said: “Oh look, dear. Taylor Swift is coming back on again.”

Said Rhonda: "Oh, she is such a doll."


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