Galway Man Jailed for Blasting Cap in Rabbit’s Ass
By Pug Ransom
Published March 27th, 2016
The Easter Bunny lies wounded in the Galway home of Ludlow Higgins, who shot the rabbit Sunday because Higgins
is a jackass.
GALWAY — A Galway man early Sunday was charged with shooting a 6-foot rabbit, which he claims had broken into his home and was hiding colored eggs in between the cushions of his living room couch.
Saratoga County Sheriff’s Deputies charged Ludlow Higgins, 48, with attempted murder and reckless endangerment. Higgins was arraigned in Galway Town Court and remanded to Saratoga County Jail on $20,000 bail.
“Every year, it’s getting harder and harder to do my goddamn job,” the rabbit, Bun E. Carlos, said this morning in an interview with The Smudge from his hospital bed. “It’s not so bad in Albany County, but when I reach the homes in some of these rural areas, every motherfucker is armed to the teeth.”
Saratoga County Sheriff John W. “Pogo” Gacy said Higgins told authorities that he shot Carlos because he thought the rabbit posed a threat to his family. But Gacy said Carlos, despite his wounds, was able to provide police a work license from the Department of State giving him the authority to be inside the Higgins home.
“This is now a matter for the courts,” said Gacy.
When told that Higgins feared for his family’s safety, Carlos shook his head in dismay.
“Yeah, why doesn’t that fucking yahoo check the calendar? It’s fucking Easter and there’s a rabbit standing there with a basket full of painted eggs. Um, hello… I’m the fucking Easter Bunny! Well guess what, tough guy? Now, thanks to you, your kids get no candy this year because their asshole dad snuffed the Easter Bunny. Nice job, jackass.”