Cropseyville Family Book Collar City Vacation
Published May 15th, 2016
River Street, Troy, NY(Photo illegally swiped from some guy posing as Matt Wade)
TROY — A family of nine from the rural, eastern Rensselaer County hamlet of Cropseyville is coming to Troy this summer, according to the family's widowed patriarch.
The Claptraps of Podunk Road have scheduled a seven-day/six-night stay at the Best Western on Fourth Street beginning June 22.
“We got us a short winda between the time the younguns finish their home schoolin' and the annual openin' of the family fruit and tater stand in mid-Jue-lie,” Merle “Pa” Claptrap told The Smudge. “So we was thinkin' we'd take us a gander at the big city. You know, fer fun and all.”
Claptrap said the family's itinerary will include visits to several of Troy's most popular landmarks, including: Uncle Sam's Grave, “A fancy college,” (which The Smudge later learned was Hudson Valley Community College, not R.P.I.), the Campbell Avenue sinkhole, and “the bridge where that murderin' fool s'caped the law and jumped into the Hudson.” Also on the agenda, Claptrap noted, is “the ole' winkin' King Fuels fuel tower,” and Jack's Drive-in.
“Do they still have that one neighborhood where folks save their parkin' spots with lawn chairs?” asked Claptrap. “I'd fancy a gander at that as well.”
The Claptrap's plan to make the six-mile trek from their Cropseyville homestead to downtown Troy in a cut-down 1921 Oldsmobile Model 46 Roadster that Merle recently retrofitted with a rocking chair for his scrappy, shotgun-toting mother-in-law, Lila May.
“She's a real spark-plug,” said Merle. “She can't wait to see the big city.”