Voorheesville Husband Blamed for May Cold Spell

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published May 22nd, 2016

Patti Duper blames her husband Stan for the unseasonable weather.

ALBANY - Patti Duper says her husband Stan is to blame for the unexpected stretch of cold that struck the Capital Region last week and she’s demanding he apologize to local farmers for any problems he might have caused.

"I immediately knew my idiot husband was the reason we're freezing," Patti told The Albany Smudge. "He's always messing with the heat in our house, turning it down and doing other stupid shit. He did this. Trust me."

Patti, 37, a state worker and mother of the Duper's three children, said she isn't buying her husband's claims that the weather is beyond his control.

"That's a cop-out and Stan knows it,” she said. “It's time he take some goddamn responsibility for once. And it’s time he stop fooling with the goddamn thermostat."

Stan, 41, said he is being wrongly accused.

“This is a bunch of hogwash. I’m not responsible for the fucking cold. Patti just wants to blame me for everything,” the pissed-off husband said.  "Stop blaming me for everything, Patti!"

Charles Keepers, a meteorologist at the National Weather Center in Albany, said he carefully reviewed Doppler radar and found no evidence whatsoever to support Patti Duper’s theory that Stan is the reason for the cold.

“There’s an arctic blast over the Midwest and some northern states. That’s what is causing this cold. It’s not because Stan keeps turning down the heat,” he said.

The meteorologist said Angus Florpe, a welder from Scotia, is also not the reason for the freeze despite claims from his wife, Rhonda.

"Well, maybe just this once Angus is innocent," Rhonda told the Smudge. 

For her part, Patti Duper is still blaming her husband.

“Those poor farmers. It’s not their fault I married a jackass,” Patti said. “I’ll make Stan apologize. It's the least he can do.”


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