Bethlehem Supremacy On Display In Annual March Down Delaware

By Fenwick Jolsen

Published May 29th, 2016

The blond wives of doctors prepare to march in Bethlehem's annual 'We're Better than You' Parade.

BETHLEHEM — Temperatures are rising. The days are getting longer. And the dreary gray skies of April have been replaced by the sunny and clear blue skies of May.

Yet, while most across the area are gearing up for Memorial Day, residents in the tony Albany County town of Bethlehem are preparing, instead, for the annual ‘We’re Better Than You’ parade.

“This year’s event will be our best yet, and prove once and for all our superiority above all other Capital Region enclaves,” parade organizer Kitty Hilton-Vanderleyden told The Smudge. “And yes, although you didn’t ask, I wanted to let you know I’ll be serving as this year’s Grand Marshall, riding in the back of my husband’s Mercedes Benz E-Class convertible. We could have purchased the car for $62,000, but I’m married to a doctor so we insisted on paying $69,000.”

Highlights of this year’s parade down Delaware Avenue include the “Our Children Are Naturally Gifted” float, and a song-and-dance routine by “Bethlehem’s Ivy League College Grad Revue.” Meanwhile, marching immediately behind Hilton-Vanderleyden’s Mercedes will be “The Delmar Dead-Behind-The-Eyes Blond Wives of Doctors’ and Lawyers’ Club.”

Bonnie Rockefeller-Goodlove, communications director for the event, said she’s hopeful residents from other Capital Region communities come out to the parade to “see what they’re missing by not being good enough to live in Bethlehem.”

However, she noted that, “while outsiders are invited, absolutely no one from Watervliet, Cohoes, Mechanicville, Waterford or South Colonie will be allowed within Bethlehem’s borders.”

“It’s not that we look down upon people from those communities,” said Rockefeller-Goodlove. “But, we absolutely do, and we just cannot let our naturally gifted children around those sort of people. I mean, some of those folks literally have children who attend SUNY!”

This year’s parade will be held at 1 p.m. on May 28, starting at the public library where 6-year-old Branford Livingston-Joplin of Delmar will be reading passages from ‘Ulysses’ by James Joyce.

“He’s a little bit behind in his language-arts skills compared to his brother, Langford,” said Mindy Livingston-Joplin, Branford’s mom. “But he is fluent in Mandarin and he’s already serving as a state Senate intern, so there’s still time to salvage his placement at an Ivy League school. Just as long as it’s not Cornell. Only dummies go there.”


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