Poll: Majority of Troy Residents Believe Mayor Cries Himself To Sleep At Night
By Scott Salad
Published June 12th, 2016
TROY— A new University of Albany poll has found 57 percent of Collar City citizens suspect first-term Mayor Patrick Madden sheds tears before he drifts off to sleep at night, adding they probably would too if they were in his position.
Screech Feldly, a graduate student in the UAlbany Psychology Department who helped administer the study, said he and his colleagues were “kind of surprised by the results.”
“Typically, it takes a Troy mayor a few years to realize their city's in the crapper and there's nothing they can do about it,” said Feldly. “But Madden's pretty smart. The fact the people think he's crying himself to sleep now, so early in his incumbency, is a good indication they're on his side.”
A similar study conducted in 2011 found a mere 23 percent of Troy residents believed then-Mayor Harry Tutunjian cried himself into the land of nod, even though he was well into his second term.
“No one could envision Harry weeping in his bed,” said Councilwoman Tammy Conchita Alonzo. “And, really, that was the crux of the problem.”
As far as what key factors may have influenced the results, Feldly points to Troy's financial instability, crumbling infrastructure, rising crime rates, and, of course, recent news that so-called “zombie properties” have been targeted by the state.
“One of the things I like best about living in Troy is pretending I'm a character on The Walking Dead,” said life-long Troy resident Gip Fendergard. “But now that they're going to clean-up all the abandoned, dilapidated homes here, I may have to move to Menands.”
Of those who believe Madden weeps before he beds down for the night, 17 percent assume its a “quiet, gentle snivel,” while 29 percent are convinced it’s of the “uncontrollable sobbing” variety. A whopping 54 percent, meanwhile, say it's likely a mixture of both, and that it would depend entirely on the kind of day he had.
Regardless of where people came out on the question, nearly everyone polled — 99 percent — agreed Troy's chief executive “cries somewhere at least once a day.”
When asked about the poll during a morning press conference, Madden set the record straight.
“I do not cry myself to sleep at night,” he told reporters gathered at City Hall. “The whole thing's completely absurd. No, I prefer to cry in the shower like a real man.”