Source: Hillary ‘Giddy’ Over Taking Guns from Rensselaer County

By Curtis Riboflavin

Published June 26th, 2016

Photo by Gage Skidmore

TROY — Democratic presidential front-runner Hillary Rodham Clinton — if elected to the White House — would personally collect every gun in Rensselaer County before being sworn into office and distribute them to Syrian refugees, a source close to the candidate has told The Albany Smudge.

“If you are asking me, ‘Is Hillary going to take away those guns herself?’ the answer is ‘yes,'” the source told the Smudge during a clandestine meeting in the food court at Crossgates Mall. “Hillary wants to go door-to-door and take the guns. She is absolutely giddy about it.”

Clinton is reportedly committed to first taking away guns from the more remote areas of Rensselaer County — with a special emphasis on those guns owned by white males who love America.

“If you live in the City of Troy you might have a few weeks to use your weapon. But if you live in, say, Speigletown or Buskirk or Schaghticoke, or if you just love this country, then Hillary is coming very early on New Year’s morning and stealing your guns,” the source said. “That’s the best part. She won’t even be sworn in yet. Then we'll work our way toward collecting guns from people across the rest of the country and distributing them to Syrian refugees. Won't it be freaking awesome?”

Darryl Gunbarrow, 62, of Berlin, president of the newly formed Rensselaer County Rednecks Against Hillary Clinton Stealing Our Guns on New Year’s Morning and Giving Them to Syrian Refugees, told the Smudge he is outraged but not surprised.

“We have suspected for some time that Hitlery Clinton wants to come for our guns first. She wants us to be defenseless against her army of radicals and 'libtards,’” Gunbarrow said, adding he changed his name to “Gunbarrow” because he likes guns but did not know how to spell “barrel.”

Gunbarrow said he believes Donald Trump will be president and restore every American's Second Amendment right to own a bazooka, heat-seeking missiles and other heavy artillery that can take jets down.

“The Donald will make sure Hillary is never allowed back in Rensselaer County," he said. "She can go back to Syria and take her libtards with her."


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