Camp Bisco Survivors Reunite in Mariaville

By Leslie Carp

Published July 17th, 2016

A Camp Bisco Survivors' Reunion attendee takes a nap.

MARIAVILLE — Some 600 Camp Bisco alumni — many of whom had been turned away at the gate for the actual Camp Bisco in Scranton — made camp at this past weekend at Mariaville's Indian Lookout Country Club in a gathering dubbed, “Camp Bisco Survivors’ Reunion." 

The wild spunions appeared late Thursday evening and immediately got to business ingesting ketamine by the gram and LSD by the thumbprint, punctuating the night air with the unmistakable hissing sounds of nitrous oxide tanks and loud retching and coughing.

An emergency meeting of local residents and law enforcement was called Friday morning to develop a strategy to handle the hard-partying wook invasion. After a lengthy debate, it was agreed the Camp Bisco Survivors’ Reunion would be permitted to continue, with a heavy undercover police and paramedic presence to document the event and prevent overdoses.

“I think we’ve all been a little morbidly curious just to see what happens at these things,” explained Ahmed Muhammad, a Mariaville Lake volunteer firefighter and EMT. “Plus, my wife never lets me have any fun.”

Camp Bisco, an annual festival of Disco Biscuits laser light shows and electronic music, was held at Indian Lookout from 2006 through 2013. The festival was not welcomed back to Mariaville after 2013 due to excessive drug trafficking and deaths.

The weekend-long celebration of hedonism, survival, and fresh opportunities to overdose on drugs raged from Thursday night through Sunday morning — a span in which an undercover Smudge insider was offered 57 different types of illicit substances. They ranged from well-studied classics such as hashish and mescaline to more obscure and dangerous drugs with unknown LD50s, including live psychoactive toads.

Fern Fiddlehead and her friends were denied entry at Montage Mountain in Scranton for this year’s Camp Bisco when drug-sniffing dogs found marijuana.

“We decided to boof it, leave and make our own fun at the Survivors’ Reunion,” she said.

On Sunday morning, Nissa Muhammad discovered Ms. Fiddlehead naked on the side of State Route 159.

“I was on my way to pick up my husband Ahmed — who had called me saying he licked a toad and experienced total spiritual rebirth — when I saw a skinny naked girl with dreadlocks on the side of the road,” recalled Ms. Muhammad.

Ms. Fiddlehead was rushed to Ellis Hospital for observation, where a urinalysis revealed traces of Xanax, LSD, bath salts, PCP, Robitussin, and nearly a dozen other substances. Her pupils are expected to make a full recovery to their normal size, but doctors are not optimistic about her brain.


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