Bethlehem Moms Struggling to Find Trivial Things To Be Outraged Over

By Fred Furnace

Published July 31st, 2016

BETHLEHEM — Times are tough in Bethlehem. Or, more accurately, times are not tough enough.

"Is it just me, or has there been very little to gripe about lately?" asked Cheryl Green-Clumsley on the Bethlehem mom’s Facebook page. "It has me feeling out of sorts. Isn’t there something out there I can be outraged over?”

Green-Clumsley isn't alone. Many of her fellow Bethlehem moms say they "feel lost" and "uncertain about my place in life" due to a general lack of anything specific to complain about.

Molly Simmons-Reynolds is one of those moms, and says she and her friends are “running out of things to talk about during book club.”

"I can’t even gripe over the condition of my neighbor’s landscaping,” she said, “since all of them have perfectly manicured lawns.”

Renowned SUNY Cobleskill Behavioral Psychologist M. Norman Bunny said the source of the discontent is likely the fact that schools are out for the summer.

"Summer can present a challenge for these kinds of people," Bunny said. "There are no school-related rumblings or gossip, such as: which kid didn’t make it into the gifted and talented program, which moms wore fake designer labels to the bus stop, or which irresponsible parent allowed their child to bring gluten or peanuts into the classroom.

“Without a base of topics to gossip or complain about, it can be hard for this demographic to find an identity,” he said.

“And it doesn’t help that their husbands tend to be happier in the summertime, too, on account that they get to fiddle with their boats and expensive grills each weekend.”

Several moms have resorted to trolling neighborhood cul-de-sacs to evaluate whether any additional "Children at Play" signs might arguably be necessary. But, thus far, even those pickings have been slim.

"I know damn well that my neighborhood is already perfectly safe," said an exasperated Meredith Baxter-Birney. "But I don't know what else to do with myself. None of us do!”

Bunny predicts the malaise will be temporary and that Bethlehem moms will soon find plenty of trivial things to gripe and gossip about once school is back in session.

"Schools will be open soon enough,” he said. “Hang in there a little longer, gang, and everything will be back to normal soon enough.”


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