Capital Region Goes Back to School… with The Smudge

By Cecily Bapp

Published August 28th, 2016

ALBANY — Although the delightful odor of pumpkin spice is not yet in the air, it’s undeniable the Capital District will soon say a fond ‘Adieu’ to summer as kids, parents and teachers ready for the upcoming school year.

As such, the Smudge caught up with some area residents as they shopped local stores for back-to-school supplies.

Madison Adam and her mother, Heather, of Saratoga Springs browsed the iconic Apple Store at Crossgates Mall as they prepped for a ‘spectacular’ school year.

“Maddy will require a new Mac laptop, as well as an updated iPhone,” said Heather, adding both devices are implanted with microchips with which she’ll use to obsessively track her daughter.

“This is going to be a big year for Maddy: college entrance essays, visits to schools across the nation, spring break in Dubai. As a parent, I think it’s important that she have access to the best technology, which I will use to stalk her every move.”

The Smudge also caught up with Jenn and Tom Joad of Stillwater, who were loading up on back-to-school supplies at Wal-Mart for their son, Jaxon, who will be entering kindergarten.

“Jaxon’s real excited about going to school, but not nearly as excited as I am,” said Jenn Joad. As she piled her cart high with scissors, crayons, markers, pencils and dozens of boxes of tissue, she simultaneously extricated her 4-year-old twins, Jeremy and Jessica, from atop a mountain of plastic binders the lively tots created from a tidy display, and which Jaxon was now kicking down the aisle.

“It’s been a long summer. I’ll be grateful if anyone takes one of them off my hands for even part of the day. And of course, he’ll learn a lot,” she added hastily.

Meanwhile, Serena McShane, a sixth-grade math teacher at Lincoln Middle School, was stocking up on boxed wine in anticipation of the start of the school year. The adoption of Common Core standards, and her students’ scores on end of the year exams, have upped Ms. McShane’s wine consumption approximately 22-percent from the preceding year, according to data she compiled herself.

“I’ll need another box of Chardonnay just to get through September. So I buy in bulk now. I’ve noted a direct correlation between my students’ persistent inability to comprehend fractions and an increase in my drinking. Common Core is giving my liver a beating.”

At The Dirty Needle, a tattoo and piercing shop in Ballston Spa, soon-to-be senior Gavin Smith and his girlfriend, Baylee Able, cashed in on a two-for-one ‘Back-to-School’ special. Offered to area students, the deal is good with coupon only and a valid school ID.

“I’m getting ‘Never Again’ on my bulging bicep here,” said Smith. “Baylee’s going for a sweet ‘YOLO’ tramp stamp. Hey, you’re only a senior once! Well, maybe more than once, but you know what I mean.”


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