Male Sex Organ To Be Renamed After Menands

By Leslie Carp

Published October 30th, 2016

ALBANY – A research team at Albany Medical College has decreed the male sperm duct be renamed “the Menands” in honor of the no man’s land that divides Loudonville, Albany and Watervliet.

The Menands — which until now was known as the epididymis — is a tube that connects the testes to the vas deferens, acting as a reservoir for sperm. Its compact size is deceptive. In a fully-grown human, the Menands is long and tightly coiled, and can span 20 feet in length.

“We thought it was a great fit and a clever inside joke for the team,” said research lead Rick Shampoo, who grew up in Loudonville and was not allowed to go to Menands as a child. “Most of the students on my team are from this area, and they all make the same face whenever someone says ‘Menands.’”

Non-locals are baffled as to why the Albany Medical College urology researchers chose Menands as inspiration for their renaming of the humble epididymis. Despite its many claims to fame — including the Humane Society, Albany Rural Cemetery, and the odiferous poop smells wafting over Interstate 787 — few outsiders are familiar with the modest village, located entirely within the Town of Colonie.

The Smudge asked a number of medical students from outside the Capital Region their thoughts on the subject. 

“I don’t get it. What is a Menands? I would say it is better suited to penile features or maybe a scrotum,” mused Amit Flapz, an Israeli-born OB/GYN resident at Syracuse’s Upstate Medical University.

Marron Chikubi, who is studying to specialize in obesity at New York Medical College in Westchester County, paused before saying: “Menands…sounds like some kind of preventable disease associated with an unhealthy diet.”


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